I revealed my heart,
And left nowhere to hide,
It feels like a knife,
As keen as Shylock’s pride,
Has opened up my life,
Spilt blood like tears,
And now it’s a wound that won’t heal,
Scorched at the edges by a sun so bright,
Because I couldn’t resist the urge to feel,
And now that Eros has subsided,
Soothed by the inevitable closure of night,
My thoughts are a-wander,
Like some treasure hunter,
A deepsea diver in search of Davy Jones’ locker,
To see what tentacles my soul has grown,
Stretching through the cool black water,
Grasping at ideas that slip free like eels,
Til there’s nothing left to know,
Not a single crevice or crack,
And with a gasping awareness,
The space surrounding the stars is black,
As though they cast shadows a billion miles wide,
And so I see myself,
Shadow cast by the sun.
—–
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January 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm |
No matter how many times I read this, it feels fresh and strikes a chord.
January 11, 2012 at 9:10 am |
oh nice…i like the ideas slipping free like eels..that’s just a great image
January 11, 2012 at 11:04 am |
Not a single crack, wow you sewn it up tight, just like your verse, nicely done!
January 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm |
It’s always a risk to be open. And yet it can be so freeing.
January 11, 2012 at 3:01 pm |
nice…i like the cadence of this one…nice rhymes through out…the last two lines feel amiss a bit….to keep the rhyme going you could replace them with a repeat of the first 2 lines…idk, just a thought…
January 11, 2012 at 6:09 pm |
Thanks Brian. I like your idea of repeating the first two lines. For some inexplicable reason I’m always drawn to ending my verse on a discordant note!
January 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm |
Great Poem,Daniel:)
January 12, 2012 at 9:10 am |
Thanks Sheela!
January 12, 2012 at 4:52 am |
enjoyed the mood of this.
January 12, 2012 at 7:03 am |
Beautifully written and well said sentiments.
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/the-sun-came-up-again-4/